the cut.

I did it!

_MG_6852This weekend I got the most drastic haircut I’ve ever gotten.

AND. I. LOVE. IT. LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE LOVE LOVE IT.

Even more than I thought I would!

[to read more about WHY I chose to get The Cut, read this post]

The whole experience was very cathartic for me. I’ve NEVER (and I mean NEVERRRR) done anything this drastic with my hair before. I think that up until this weekend, the “craziest” thing I’d done with my hair was to get it cut ABOVE my shoulders. *Gasp*

Scan473

Here’s how it went down: I was surrounded by some of my nearest & dearest friends [and of course, my hubsby]. We’d just finished our Friendsgiving lunch, and then as some people napped, Haley shaved nearly half my head [just a typical Friendsgiving…].

I was definitely a mixture of nervous & excited and I could feel my cheeks turning rosy in anticipation of what was about the happen. When Haley cut the first chunk of my hair off, my emotions ranged from terrified to SUPER excited! Being able to hear the scissors cutting my hair SO CLOSE to my ear was INDESCRIBABLE.

cutting

As Haley held the first chunk of hair in front of me, I had a “holy sh*t!” moment [during which I literally yelled “HOLY SH*T!”]. Followed quickly by a, “well, there’s no turning back now!” moment.

holy moly

Then she grabbed the clippers to shave off the rest, and I double checked that she had the #2 attachment on — which of course she did, but I’m a notorious control freak and I wanted to make sure she wasn’t about to shave my head bald. Trust issues, much? Yes, I know. It’s on my list of “things I’m working on.”

patch 1

After she finished shaving the first patch, I got up to look in a mirror and see it for the first time — I loved it. I really did. I thought it was a great START…but I wanted to go higher. So Haley shaved another part of my head, and then I looked in the mirror again…STILL HIGHER, PLEASE.

second patch

And here’s where we ended up. Nearly half my head shaved, and I freaking love it. I wanted to be able to see it when I’m wearing my hair down — and also be able to cover it up when I’m working my catering job or at a meeting with clients…mission accomplished.

last cutMy two biggest learnings in this experience have been about my self-image and about trust.

I feel totally empowered after getting The Cut. I am wholly embracing my Authentic Self and am letting her shine through my new haircut. I recognized, before getting it done, that it was already bigger deal than I’d originally thought it would be. And now that I’ve done it, I definitely didn’t anticipate the amount of empowerment and confidence I’d feel by following through with my desire to get The Cut. I’ve been delightfully surprised with how immensely confident and empowered I feel. When I look in the mirror, I love who I see, not only because of how I look on the outside, but because I feel completely aligned in who I am, inside and out. In an interesting and inexplicable way…I think that my outer appearance finally reflects exactly how I feel inside.

the cut 2And trust…oh that sneaky little thing. Growing up, my dad repeated the quote, “Trust, but verify,” and it became a mindset that was ingrained in me from a young age. Little did I know, a “but” in the middle of a sentence often negates all of the words that precede it…so the way that I now understand that quote is as meaning “verify, because you don’t trust” which is the story of my life.

It initially came up in this situation because I was researching side-cuts and cutting techniques before I got up to the Bay, instead of just completely putting my trust in Haley. And then it came up again when I didn’t trust that she had the right attachment on the clippers, despite having discussed a #2 in the past.

Trust is a really tricky thing sometimes…it’s something I’m still working on every day. It’s such a huge part of LIFE. Think about every time you get on the road and drive…you’re trusting EVERYONE on the road to abide by the driving laws and generally be a good driver…it’s a huge thing, and yet most of us give that trust away on a daily basis.

But, when placed with one of my best friends in the entire world, it was SO difficult for me to just give in and TRUST. Luckily for me, she called me out on not trusting her both times, and brought it to my awareness. So now I have food for thought in my ongoing interactions with people. I currently believe that there are limits to which I’ll trust people (specifically strangers) to keep myself safe, based on what I’ve been taught and what I’ve learned in the real world. I’ll be sure to continue reflecting on how I give trust — and notice when I am being controlling versus trusting.

Haley, I love you so dang much and am really grateful that you’re the one who shaved my head. 🙂 You are a constant source of inspiration for me. Especially when we make up our own workout routines. Teeheehee. Thank you for loving me enough to be honest with me, and for supporting me unconditionally. Thank you for being you!!!

x Nicole

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